With each decade, hairstyles come and go. There have been many, including the duck tail, the afro, the Farrah, and the Rachel. The only one I ever had was that most popular of 80’s hairstyles, the mullet.
My hair was very curly. I think, had I been a teenager in the early 1970’s, I could have grown a pretty good afro. I probably wouldn’t have gone the Billy Preston route, where I could barely fit through doorways. Instead, I probably would have gone with the Greg Brady afro.
But who knows? I was a 1980’s teenager, which means, despite the curls, I was obligated to grow a mullet.
Looking back at pictures of myself, I have to laugh. Hey, I wasn’t the only one looking like this. But some people don’t get it. My wife, for instance. When I showed her the above photo she said, “If you’d shown me this when we met I never would have dated you.”
I replied, “But that’s a Chess King suit!” Which made her laugh even harder. Well, she didn’t actually laugh. In my head we were laughing. In reality, she looked sort of disgusted. If she thinks that’s bad, I’d hate for her to see this one:
At least the cut off jean shorts should distract her from the hair. They appear quite short. And tight. I always associate cut offs like that with the 1970’s. Did other people wear shorts like that in the 80’s, or was I the only one? Kind of a depressing thought. A least I don’t have a picture of myself wearing shorts over my sweatpants.
Maybe the mullet wasn’t a good idea. Some people looked good with it. Not me, but some people. And some people are still trying to pull it off. Hockey players, for instance. And hockey players are the toughest athletes in the world. Are you going to tell them their hair looks stupid? Not me. I think it looks great.
Now that I’m almost bald (yes, almost) I tell my wife that I’d like to grow my hair long in the back and have a bald mullet. Or better yet, a bald ponytail, like George Carlin had. She says no. Quite firmly, in fact.
I guess I’ll just have to break out the old cut offs instead.