Let’s put a stop to all men’s fashion changes

By | July 18, 2017

I tried on a new pair of shorts recently and they covered my knees. My wife said they look fine, but I don’t think so. I see a lot of guys wearing their shorts that way, but in my opinion, once they cover your knees they no longer qualify as shorts. At that point they become knickers, like Angus Young from AC/DC used to wear. Not a good look for most guys who aren’t rock stars.

It made me wonder, why are clothing styles changing all the time? You never saw cavemen altering the animal hides they wore to match the latest fashion trends. It makes no sense to me why we do this.

Why don’t men still wear large top hats, like Abe Lincoln? The only person since the 1860’s to pull this look off is Slash.

Or how about cutoff jeans? Or shorter shorts, like Larry Bird and Magic Johnson and John McEnroe wore? Guys today wear shorts so long, they can almost tuck them into their socks. Again, those really aren’t shorts, they’re knickers.

The coolest pants I ever owned

And hairstyles. Why aren’t we wearing long hair like the Beatles and everyone else in the 1960’s and 1970’s? Even balding guys had long hair. Not a good look, maybe, but for some reason it was fashionable for centuries. Only recently has the shaved head look become popular.

In the 1980’s, we all wore mullets and thought we looked cool. Why is the mullet not cool now (okay, I understand why) while the man bun is? Because I’ve got new for you – unless you’re a samurai, the man bun is not cool at all.

I think we should just stop with the fashion changes. If you find a look that works for you, stick with it. If they were still alive, Hendrix would still be dressed in psychedelic clothes and Elvis would have mutton chops, big collars and a cape. Today, Elton John should still be wearing big glasses and Dr. J should still have a huge afro. And The Six Million Dollar Man, Lee Majors, should still wear a sweatsuit unzipped to the naval.

So why don’t we do this? Because married men want to stay married and single men want to attract women. Why else do guys do anything?

 

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