If not for our wives we’d all be butt naked

By | July 6, 2017

Like most guys, I don’t enjoy shopping for clothes. I do most of the grocery shopping for our family, and I don’t mind that at all. I’m not sure why this is. Maybe it’s because I don’t have to try on an apple or a box of cereal.

I didn’t mind clothes shopping when I was younger. Back then, like most young men, I wanted to look good for young women. And like most young men, I didn’t mind looking in the mirror. Back then, the mirror was my friend. Nowadays, it’s like my mirror has gone into funhouse mode.

Old And New Clothes

Now I’m older and married, and clothes are more about comfort than anything. If I find something I like, I’ll wear it for a decade or until it falls apart, whichever comes first. This does not make my wife happy. I recently retired a 10-year-old shirt that was so full of holes, it looked like I’d been hit with birdshot. Near the end, Old Blue was just a bedtime shirt. Comfortable till the very end.

My wife buys most of my clothes now. She knows what I’ll look good in (which is helpful, because I don’t have a clue) and she’s willing to spend money on me. This past weekend she went shopping and got me a few pairs of shorts and some shirts. I appreciated it, although it was three days before I tried anything on.

Good for another 10 years!

Trying On Clothes

I really think that having to try things on is why men hate clothes shopping. If we didn’t have to try anything on, we probably wouldn’t mind it as much. As it is, when I try something on at the store I have to go out and show my wife. Pants are the worst, because she makes me spin around and then tugs on them and sticks her hand in the waist to make sure they aren’t too tight or too loose. It’s like I’m five years old again with my mom in the middle of the store, making sure there’s enough room in the crotch. The only thing that makes it tolerable is when I see other husbands in the store suffering through the same ordeal. I assume the look on my face is as sad and bewildered as theirs.

Is it any wonder that husbands continue to wear clothes until they fall apart? Here’s how I like to shop for clothes – find something on sale that looks like it might fit, buy it and try it on at home whenever I get around to it. And then, of course, walk out and show my wife.



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